please forgive me for forgetting…

22 Mar

Okay, so I have been gone from this blogging thing for a while.  Not that I blogged very much to begin with, but whenever I did it, I was motivated and looked forward to doing it.  I am not really sure why it stopped.  I am one of those people who get super one track minded.  I mean SUPER one track.  So I will get an idea…or and interest…or whatever, and I will not be able to think about anything else.  I mean seriously…like staying up late planning and brainstorming in my mind what the next step needs to be in whatever it is I am obsessing about.  I drive myself bananas…and then sometimes what ends up happening is I totally get tired of thinking about it and I put it out of my brain indefinitely.  Isn’t that lame?  I mean how can I accomplish anything if my first step is to think about what I want to do sooooo much that I get tired of thinking about it before I even take a step forward.  Sigh!

I know, I know, I am one crazy lady…but I love the feeling that comes over me when I get on that obsessed track…Kind of like I can do anything.  Unfortunately this pattern is the same when it comes to my relationship with Jesus.  I get so excited and passionate about loving and serving Him and then I just sort of let it go.  Why?  It’s like I just stop thinking about Him.   I stop seeking Him.

It’s like I forget that I absolutely need Him to take over my being every second of every day.  Forget that without Him I am nothing.  Forget that He loves me and thinks I am special.  Forget that nothing is more important than Him.  Forget that having nothing with Him is better than having everything without Him.

Even though I feel like trash for getting distracted and wandering away, I realize I don’t have to.  I can be confident in the fact that He wants me to come back.  That He’s waiting for me.

Lord, please forgive me for forgetting and thank you so much for letting me come back to you.